The Angry one

This is not a happy post. This one will not be funny and it will not be light. You have been warned.

I am so fucking tired of shit right now. I mean seriously, why in gods name does shit have to flow so fast and furious some times? My husband currently has no respect for me. My two year old is slowly trying to kill me and I have not slept for more than three hours at a time in almost a fucking year. The only thing keeping me from downing more alcohol is Debbie, my sweet baby boy and my incredible fear of dying. No worries peeps, I am not going to off myself. That would just be so depressing and whatnot.

However, should you feel the need to come and whisk me away to some far away place where everyone is sweet and nice and loves you for just you....

I PROMISE I WILL DRIVE!!!

Unexpected

I love change.

I love new things and new experiences.

I love things out of the ordinary and things that are completely unexpected.

Things like amazing people and intellegent conversation.

What concerns me is why I am so impressed by easy going, fun to be around people. Shouldn't this be the norm? Why are there so many more negative unhappy people in our lives than the people that make us smile and breathe easy?

It simply amazes me how easily I can be made happy and comfortable by having the right kind of people in my life.

I hope this becomes my NORM.

D-O-N-E

You read that right. I am just straight done.

Done being the person that tries to perk you up and make you feel better. Done being the optomistic person that tells you everything will be fine and done trying to help you be happy.

For the record, this letter will not be mailed.



I tend to be the supportive person. I will help you with whatever you need whenever you need it. Pick you up when you are down and pat your back when you deserve it. But you know what? I am just straight fucking tired of being that person. I can't take the negative shit I have to trudge through to do it.

*CLOCKINGOUTNOW*

Much Love,

Mrs. Mommy

P.S. Please don't call me about this post. I blog to say what I feel, not to have a conversation about it. Feel free to comment, cause hey thats what the post a comment section is for. But don't ask me to talk about it. I would have if I thought for one second that I needed to drag it on anymore.

Its a two Prozac kind of day round these parts

It doesn't help that I woke up on the anxious side of the bed this morning.

Add to that, Lil R is on one big time. Getting in the baby things, and by in I mean IN! Look over and homegirl is laying in the bouncer. WTF? Bug is almost 7 months old. I thought this phase was over. He volume control is stuck at 7 out of 10 and she can NOT calm down. Its just to much for me some day. Top it off with how cute she can be and I have no idea what to do with her.

Big R is whiny. OH SO WHINY! Come on...Its only 11 in the morning and I have only had one cup of coffee. You so don't NEED to whine about everything. (AKA "MOM!! I can't hear it, Lil R is being loud, make her stop!" (whine whine whine) I have been forced to MAKE them play with their toys in their room. Thats right, I am the horribly mean mom that is forcing her children to play with the hundreds of dollars worth of toys in their room. *BADMOMMY*

Did I mention that the family dog decided to bring a dead rodent of some sorts into the house? I didn't...My apologizes.

*DEADANIMALINCRAZYLADIESHOUSE* *OMG*

Uncontrolable shivering and screaming commenced and I was just plain usless. Seriously, I tried to get it with the tongs about 4 differnt times. I couldn't even get close enough to it to take a decent freaking picture for the hubs. Thankfully my wonderful MEX-ICAN neighbors (no sarcasium here at all! I love them! They can do anything I swear!)were next door building a deck for my other neighbor.

When this crazy lady opened the back door shivering and asking for help I think they may have thought for a minute or two that there was actually an unwanted person in the house instead of the TINY little mouse looking thing they found. Behold the THING!



I did say it was a two Prozac day right? Yeah...Off to take ANOTHER pill.

Top Ten Tuesday! FALL!

Hello my 5 commentors. :)

In honor of Amanda and her Top Ten Tuesday game as well as Bree's beautiful FALL post I am jumping on the Top Ten Tuesday bandwagon!!




So in no particular order at all, here are my Top Ten favorite things about Fall.

1. The leaves turn to bright beautiful colors.

2. School is back in session. I love the new clothes and routines and just every bit of it!

3. The smell of the air. Yes I mean that just like it reads. I love being able to smell the Fall in the air. Its sweet and cool. (closes eyes and smiles)

4. Impending holidays. Oh yes my peeps, I LOVE LOVE LOVE holidays. I am talking obsessive almost crazy (Ya I know, I am crazy) love them!

5. Back to routines. Everything seems to calm down and fall into place in the Fall.

6. All the rich dark colors come back into style!

7. HOODIES! OMG...I can Lurve Lurve Lurve Hoodies and I can't wait to wear one everyday!

8. Baking and Cooking. I love the smell of baking and cooking in a warm house.

9. Being outside. Being outside in the cool air is so refreshing. Its so cozy and wonderful.

10. My best friend Bree I love her with my hole heart. She knows me and gets me. I missed her so much more than I even knew and sharing my love for Fall with her is FREAKING AWESOME!!!

What about you? What do you love about Fall?

Shabby state of affairs

This house is in chaos. There is so many things I want and need to do.

1. We finally got the fence done, but since have done not a damn thing in the yard and its shabby out there. I mean BAD. The weeds are winning the grass in the war to take over the yard. Between the kids and the dog, it *MAY* look like the definition of white trash trailer yard out there.

2. I am sure you understand why I sit inside the house at the computer now.

T3. he house inside needs to be organized. I say that loosely because I don't know what I can organize. We live in a house that we occupy every single bit of space in. There are not any closets or shelves. What shelves we have added in are completely full with kitchen things as I am a big time cooker.

4. The walls are white. *ENOUGHSAID*

5. Nothing really matches. Its all kind of thrown together. I am not really bother by it, it just feels like nothing really meshes.

6. I MUST HAVE CHANGE. This is not an options peeps, its a *MUSTHAVE* I rearrange the furniture, the kitchen gadgets and the things on the bathroom shelf. Its the only way I can *FEELLIKE* I am doing something about the way the house feels. Unorganized and skattered around.

Now while the previously listed things all bother me in one way or another, they are not listed in degree of saverity or anything like that. They are just the things that I know I would like to *CHANGE* We will be painting the house in September. THANK GOD! We are going to get our butt in gear out in the yard, cause by god it doesn't look like anyone gives to shits about this property!

Other than that...I think I need a different house and some money to fix the rest. Since the will not be happening for a while, I suppose I will just keep plugging away at trying to make it feel more like a home instead of a house.

Anyone have any suggestions for the crazy lady today? What do you do for change?

Oh the insanity!

I really hate being unsure.

I don't like feeling lost and not sure where to go or what to do. Double guessing myself and being full of anxiety. I know it's normal for me. I know it's part of all the craziness that is me. My problem is most of the time I don't know I am in it til I start taking it out on people. I hate that most. I don't want to be that person. That person that makes everything everyone else's problem or fault. That is just straight ridiculous.

I am an adult. I am grown woman who makes mistakes and bad choices. I am a yeller by nature. I was raised in a screamin demon home. I hate that I have no patience and I hate that I can take things out on people that did nothing wrong or at least nothing wrong that even pertains to what I am upset about or have on my mind. I don't want to be the raving mad woman that people don't want to talk to or be honest with.

Being open minded and honest is very important to me. If you do something I don't like I am going to tell you. Because quite frankly, I think you should know its not attractive. Kind of like telling someone they have lipstick on their teeth or a booger in their nose. Hell I would want to know!

My point is this, I know I am back and forth. I know I am up and down and usually side to side as well. For this I am sorry. It's not fair to the people around me that love me and actually want to be around me. It will get better because I want it to. And I can make that happen if I try.

Much Love,

Mrs Mommy