Friendship

Long time, no post much?

It's funny how I need to blog when something dramatic happens in my life. I tend to need somewhere to put the words rolling around in my mind. So here I sit, drinking a slurpee, and smoking a cigarette.

My world is made up of many relationships. Most of them seem to be friendships as I have very little family, not including my village. With that said, I hold those people in my friendships very close to me. So close that when something happens to one of my friendships, it tends to rip off several layers of my heart.

Today I feel both broken and bruised. Someone extremely close to me decided I wasn't a friend they wanted to have anymore. Out of nowhere they stopped returning my calls and texts. So suddenly that I thought this person was hurt somewhere. I went looking for them, calling several times and tracking down their family, all to be slapped with a text saying "leave me alone, I don't want to be your friend anymore".

Honestly, that shit stung. It hurt deep. What have I done to deserve this I asked?  No answer has been given. Until my mister asked that is, then it all came out. I'm mean. That's the bold point answer. I am mean. Umm, can't everyone be mean? Don't get me wrong, if you attempt to hurt or harm those I love you will suffer, and suffer good.

What happened next you ask? What does one do when they are told their dearest friend wants nothing to do with them because they are "mean"? Well this chick started asking anyone who would answer the golden question. Am I mean? Do I treat people bad? Have I been mean to you? And you know what happened? Not one person close to me agreed with her. They told me this was all her, and not on me. It took a few days of doubt to pull my head out of my ass, but I did emerge.

And you know what, I'm happier now with who I am then I ever have been. I know who I am, and what I want. I'm kind, loving, giving, and just down right awesome. So take that old friend. You can't steal my shine.

The Mrs Mommy