What happened you say? My Top Ten Tuesday version of Laughter

What happened to days 14-30 you ask? My brain shut down is what happened.

Everything was going great. I was handling everything strongly and productively. Then I imploded. I knew it was gonna happen eventually. I am not a person who is capable of being serious and responsible for long periods of time. My brain quit responding to the sheer seriousiness of the situtaion and when plain looney.

The long story short of the situtaion is this. She is just plain amazing and stronger than any human I know, far exceeding myself. She is continuing to thrive and grow everyday and that is the ONLY thing that matters to me in that BIG UGLY situation.

So now I give you...My Top Ten Tuesday. Reasons to laugh round these parts! In no apparent order of course.

1. Bug thinks that biting my legs is the perfect way to let me know he would like to nurse. Yes, BITING me.

2. At any given time I can be seen wearing a shirt with a "wet" spot on one boob or the other.

3. When we received out tax return the most exciting purchase for me was a garbage can, WITH A LID! WOOT WOOT!

4. My 5yos new phrase is, What the heck?! Makes me giggle everytime!

5. Watching my 3yo and 5yo fight over the same cushion on the 3 seat couch is infuriating and histerical at the same time. I totally remember doing that as a child.

6. Watching the puppy attack the older dog from underneath him, the big dog can't get back at him while he is under there! I know, easily entertained around these parts!

7. Listening to my 3yo's endless excuses as to why she can't take a nap. "My hair is not tired mommy"

8. When my hubs feeds bug...His mouth opens up every time he feeds him a bite. And I mean EVERYTIME! Never fails!

9. Making fun of the baby never fails to entertain as well. How am I not suppose to laugh when he gets mad at his toys for not doing what he wants them to?

10. And of course, how could I even pretend to forget just plain making fun of myself. Emotions, anxiety, extremes and just plain looneyness!!

Happy Tuesday ALL!

Day 13 And the drama continues.

Today is the 13th day of my therapy, but its been 3 weeks since her new life began.

To see the amount of change in her life would completely shock anyone looking from the outside in. She is experiencing love and support she never knew exsisted up til now. We are her bridge to a new world, a world so much bigger and brighter than she ever had the oppurtunity to see before 3 weeks ago.

That is exactly what I have to keep in my mind when I start wading through all the mental games and incredible amounts of emotional stress that we are all going through when dealing with the one who started all the abuse she has been dealing with. Her pure need to be right and win blows me away. Its such an eye opener to see how little she truly cares about the people she has harmed.

So I will be strong, if not for my own sanity...at least for hers.

Day 11...And Day 12

Yesterday we went to visit her. She looks so content and peaceful. Walking around in her favorite kind of clothes. We are the loungewear queens her and I.

I stood there in my pajama pants just looking at her for a minute. The look on her face when my babies walked in was pure happiness. She misses them, I know how much she loves them. She loves like me, without limits and with a pure heart.

Seeing her freedom means so much to me. She is learning so much about herself. How much strength she has in her and how much more she can gain. How to control her emotions and own her life. I can not wait to see how she soars.

Today I got up and hugged my babies. They are growing so fast and lately all I can think about is keeping them safe and giving them the strength to be incredible people. Whether they want to be parents, doctors or garbage peoples...

I just want them happy.

Day 10 Some peace in the war

I spent last night in the tub. Just me, the bubbles and my thoughts. It was exactly what I needed. Sometimes I get so much going on in my head, filling my thoughts and controling my heart.

I know we are doing what is right. I know she is safe and that god will help her heal. She has an amazing faith. Its a very strong bond that I have with, our faith. I have said so many times before that I am a strong believer in god and I have an incredible faith.

I believe in my heart that things will work out as they should be. That she will stay in the safe and healthy place that she is in and continue to grow in strength and love.

Faith can be so strong if you let it lead you.

Day 9...Extended angry edition

I am angry. So very very angry.

Why it is okay for you to lie and play games? Why can't you own what you have done to the people around you? The people you were suppose to protect and love. No, instead you turn everything around on everyone else and you own nothing.

I know you read my words. I know you spy on me and make accusations. I don't let those things bother me. I don't because I *know* you are wrong. You have been mean and hurtful for so long. You don't want to change, you want everyone around you to change into what and who you think they should be.

Your a sad person. A mean, hurtful, and coniving person.

A BAD PERSON.

Day 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9

The last week has been spent trying to put my life back in order.

I feel so much peace in knowing she is thriving so well. Now that she is truly starting to see the entire magnitude of the pain and hardship she was enduring. She is such an amazingly strong person inside and out. She knows she is loved and that we are doing everything we can to keep her safe and healthy.

Now I am trying to get my family healthy. We have all endured so much stress worrying about her and trying to make things work. Its all so worth it, so very worth it. That doesn't make it easy though.

Slowly, but surly we are making progress. Incredible progress that shows me how very worth everything we are going through is. I tell her everyday that 2010 is her year to shine and show everyone what she is made of and who she is. I know she will own it and prove it.

Yesterday was Bugs birthday. My little boy turned one and she was not here to see it because my home is not safe for her. I will fix that. I will change that. She was so very sad about missing it, but I assured her that he knows how much she loves him.

We all know.

Day 2: The proof

I saw her today. She looks so different. She is the same, but completely different all at the same time. Who knew that some love and attention could make your cheeks be fuller and you skin rosier.

I want for her to heal so badly. To feel like she is worth it and to see that she is amazing. She is so strong. So smart and just so freaking amazing. I see so much when I look at her.

In just 10 days she has grown. That means everything to me.