Classified ad reads "advice needed"

I feel like my mommy radar is broken. I think I am missing something that I should know how to do already. I feel like I am falling slightly short on the "what to do" front.

With that being said....I do not know what to do about the constant whining going on in this house. My girls are to the point where they are whining when they talk. They are crying in hopes for getting their way and full on throwing fits constantly.

Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong here? I try to give them a very structured day, offering tons of things to do and often places to go. They get treats and cuddles, everything I have to give them. Still they are not happy.

Now don't get me wrong, they do not get everything they want. There are plenty of "NOs" and tons of compromises. To be completely honest, I am exausted. I feel pretty defeated on the mommy front unless I am physically providing my kids with something to do.

My oldest only wants to watch tv. I am not okay with that. TV should be limited in my opinion. GO PLAY! But she doesn't want to. She is only 5, what will I do when she is older? My youngest daughter is by far the worst with the fit throwing. Screaming and hitting if you don't do as she wants immediately. Needless to say, she throws fits constantly since I do not waiver.

Its summer, I want my children to have fun and enjoy life. I don't know what to do to make them happy.

Advice needed.

To the woman who should have loved me

To say I am disappointed in who you are would only be the tip of the iceburg.

To say that I think your selfish and downright mean would be turning it all in to something small.

This is not a small thing.

Growing up I always knew our family was different. I never thought it was wrong, but I knew it was not normal. My best friend had some interesting family dynamics, but I always, always felt loved when I was there. It never felt like love in our house. It felt like tension and evil. So thick that you could slice the air. Someone was always fighting or yelling. Someone was always doing something you didn't like. Its was always about you.

You would go from being so calm to blowing straight fire from your pores. It was draining just to be in our home. Nobody should have to feel like that. Willing and wanting to be anywhere, anywhere but their home. Feeling like you had to earn your attention and love. Love that I didnt know as a child, was never even there to begin with. We were property, slaves or even leverage. Never just your children.

Now I am a mother. I am who you should have been, but never were. I love my children unconditionally. I love them wholeheartily with everything I have. They are my life, they are all I will ever need or want. They will never be my excuse for being unhappy with myself or my reason to blame things on. No matter what they do in life I will love them and be proud of who they are inside and out. I may not agree with who they are, but that will never make me love them any less or treat them unkind.

I will show them what beauty is and how to respect themselves. How to hold their heads high and know that beauty is truly shown from the inside out. I will never make them believe they are not good enough or a burden on me. I will never show them that its okay to hurt others to get what I want. I will be everything you never were.

I will never be you.

Shabby state of affairs

This house is in chaos. There is so many things I want and need to do.

1. We finally got the fence done, but since have done not a damn thing in the yard and its shabby out there. I mean BAD. The weeds are winning the grass in the war to take over the yard. Between the kids and the dog, it *MAY* look like the definition of white trash trailer yard out there.

2. I am sure you understand why I sit inside the house at the computer now.

T3. he house inside needs to be organized. I say that loosely because I don't know what I can organize. We live in a house that we occupy every single bit of space in. There are not any closets or shelves. What shelves we have added in are completely full with kitchen things as I am a big time cooker.

4. The walls are white. *ENOUGHSAID*

5. Nothing really matches. Its all kind of thrown together. I am not really bother by it, it just feels like nothing really meshes.

6. I MUST HAVE CHANGE. This is not an options peeps, its a *MUSTHAVE* I rearrange the furniture, the kitchen gadgets and the things on the bathroom shelf. Its the only way I can *FEELLIKE* I am doing something about the way the house feels. Unorganized and skattered around.

Now while the previously listed things all bother me in one way or another, they are not listed in degree of saverity or anything like that. They are just the things that I know I would like to *CHANGE* We will be painting the house in September. THANK GOD! We are going to get our butt in gear out in the yard, cause by god it doesn't look like anyone gives to shits about this property!

Other than that...I think I need a different house and some money to fix the rest. Since the will not be happening for a while, I suppose I will just keep plugging away at trying to make it feel more like a home instead of a house.

Anyone have any suggestions for the crazy lady today? What do you do for change?

My current life..

I adore how much they all love them some She-Ra Princess of Power



Tons of days spent with WONDERFUL friends



And a little baby boy that is growing so fast it makes me sad daily....

What the heck happened in here?!

Since having Cree the weirdest thing has happened, I have started cleaning. I am talking dishes, floors and laundry. I know what you are thinking, what the heck happened? You have three kids and now you have started keeping up the house?

Well I can tell you that I am about 90% sure is the lack of crazy pills in my diet. These Bi-Polar mood swings are going to either kill me or make my family turn me into the nut house. Some days I can't stop cleaning and reoraginzing the house, other days I can't even manage to shower.

Oh and don't get me wrong, I don't think that I am above the meds by any means! I just can't take the Anti-Anxiety/Mood swing pills while nursing chubs. I do however take the happy pills, no wonder Cree is such a good baby! Luckily the happy pills make me more mellowed out for the most part.

Long story short, I have been having a rough one the last few days. It has definately been more on the side of not wanting to do anything. Its like being lathargic and having no energy. It sucks...The lows are really hard. I quite frankly don't care for the highs either honestly, which is weird since most Bi-Polar peeps love them. I hate the feeling of anxiety and being anxious. That is where the need to get everything as it should be comes from.

The hubs thinks the house cleaning is awesome of course, to bad I know its not the "real me". Cause anyone that TRULY knows me, knows this chick ain't a cleaner!

Faith, Family and Friends...

I am so sure that all the dear internets have thought I died...Well you know all 4 or 5 of you that is. However, I have just been enjoying my life. I am so completely happy and content at this moment. Cree is growing like a weed, weighing in around 16lbs already! He will be three months old tomorrow and it is completely killing me that I know I will never have another newborn baby to take care of. I am pretty sure I could have a million babies, but lord knows I can't handle anymore kids.

Today we got the kids pictures taken. I absolutely adore Sears Portrait studio...They ROCK! The photographers are amazing and the shots turned out absolutely amazing. I may be a little bias, but I am pretty sure I have the most B-E-A-UTIFUL children ever. They are each so amazing in their own way. Rainee is smart and loving, Rylee is full of spirit and fun, and Cree is so calm and cuddly. I just can't imagine my life any other way.

Did I mention that I have the most loving and caring husband ever? Oh I didn't tell you about the hot stud that I am married to? Oh yeah baby! Yesterday I shaved his head and this will be the haircut keeper from here on out. The hubs looks different, and we all know how I feel about hair so this will take some definately getting used to for me. We are not talking about a completely bald look, but the trimmer doesn't go any shorter! Now if I could just get him to grow a beard I could probably technically be sleeping with a new man everynight.

Oh and did I tell you I have me some super great friends? Oh yes...There is La, Crys, Deb and Shi...Names edited to keep those in hiding that don't want other people to know they are putting up with me on a regular basis. I am a tweeting facebookin fool and I love it! I have decided that life is what I make of it and I want it to be awesome.

Now about the faith...This is still a work in progress, but I am pretty sure I am headed in the right direction. I feel good about where I am going and where I have been. Will provide more EXCITING info on this topic soon...Cause I am sure you are all dying to know WTF is going on in my crazy head about now.....

Stay at home WHAT??

Me and my husband have this wonderful fight...You know that one the you always come back to? The one the gets thrown in the mix even when it has NOTHING to do with what you are actually talking about..Thats the one.

He says that I am a stay at home mom so I need to do things around the house..I say yes, I am a stay at home mom...Not a stay at home housecleaner. What do you say should my version include then? I shall explain.

Lets use today for an example. Get up and get myself presentable. Dress children, do both girls hair, feed both children and brush their teeth. Out the door at 8:50 to have Rainee to school on time. Run errands, pick Rainee up from school at 11:50. Run a few more errands and get home. Feed the girls lunch and get them down for quiet time and nap time. Finally sit down for the first time!

Did I mention I am roughly a million weeks pregnant with a child the size of a beach ball? Oh I didn't? I apologize, of course that should have nothing to do with what I get done around the house during the day, right?

Resume day...Clean kitchen, make cheeseball and get ready for monthly book club. Drive to Draper to enjoy WONDERFUL woman time and arrive at home around 10:30 at night.

My point is this..As far as I am concerned, I am a stay at home MOM. I take care of my children. I keep them from killing each other and I make sure they are happy and healthy. If I don't get things cleaned up or anything done for the matter its just fine. Its not my fault that I refuse to participate in something that was not listed in the job description...

Next time...I would be more specific.